It's a Really Deadly Sin .. .

As iron is eaten by rust, so are the envious consumed by envy. ~Antisthenes
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I wanted to write about jealousy and envy. It's an issue that I deal with quite a bit; when others seem to have what I want, I feel a little twinge of envy. I acknowledge it, affirm that I'm happy for them, and go on about my business. But each of the five or six times I started this entry, I couldn't get far because it kept turning into the equivalent of a digital temper tantrum.

WHY CAN’T I FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE ME??????????

WHY CAN E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E ELSE FIND SOMEONE BUT NOT ME????????????

WHY OH WHYYYYYYYYYYYY AM I SO ALOOONE?

POOOOOOR POOOOOOR PITIFUL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????????? etc, etc, etc . . . (it didn’t help matters much that this past weekend two people I know got engaged and another good friend FINALLY hooked up with a longtime crush)

I couldn't figure out why this issue had me so stuck, … So I started researching. I’m kind of a quotation junkie, so I first started looking for quotations about jealousy and envy to start this entry and inspire me. Couldn’t find anything that really spoke to how I was feeling .. . . so then I looked to music. Are there any songs that say how I feel? No luck there either. Then I found it. . . a quote by a little known (by me, anyway) British Actress named Jennifer James:

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.

“If you cannot love yourself . . . you will not believe that you are loved.” . that resonated with me.

Do I love myself?
--I like myself.
--I think I’m pretty cool. . . .
But do I LOVE Me???

This quandary led to the next step of my research. I googled “How do you love yourself?” and that led me to How to Love Yourself. Along with the predictable affirmations and whatnot was the suggestion to Share Yourself.

So this is where I start. . . sharing.

I feel better already.